Pillar 1: Presence

Goal: Cultivate attunement by fostering true presence and emotional availability.

1. Attune Together

   • How: Couples will practice shared presence exercises to increase emotional awareness and responsiveness. This includes guided mirroring practices to observe and reflect each other’s emotions, enhancing mutual understanding and empathy.

2. Practice Active Listening

   • How: Using Gottman-inspired techniques, couples will learn “softened start-up” and non-defensive listening to communicate with warmth and receptivity.

Pillar 2: Clarity

Goal: Create clarity around needs, expectations, and boundaries within the relationship.

1. Express Needs Clearly and Openly

   • How: Partners will practice expressing needs without criticism, focusing on specific, positive language. We’ll use tools like “I feel” statements to make sharing needs simple and respectful.

2. Define Relationship Boundaries

   • How: Couples identify and articulate shared values, needs, and boundaries, agreeing on areas that support each partner’s well-being while building trust.

Pillar 3: Vulnerability

Goal: Open up deeper levels of connection by safely sharing inner feelings and fears.

1. Explore and Share Inner Worlds

   • How: Couples will engage in guided sharing of vulnerable thoughts or fears, practicing compassionate witnessing without judgment. We’ll encourage sharing both positives and challenges, which helps foster trust.

2. Respond with Empathy and Support

   • How: Using Gottman’s “empathy before solution” approach, couples will practice reflecting back and acknowledging their partner’s feelings before responding, ensuring both partners feel understood and cared for.

Pillar 4: Polarity

Goal: Revitalize passion by balancing masculine and feminine dynamics.

1. Understand Polarity Dynamics

   • How: Couples explore how each partner can embody either grounding energy (masculine) or open-flow energy (feminine) and use this awareness to rekindle attraction and desire.

2. Practice Polarity Exercises

   • How: Through guided exercises inspired by tantra and John Wineland, partners will learn to embody and balance these energies—one partner focusing on “grounded presence” while the other opens emotionally, allowing connection and intimacy to thrive.

3. Create Rituals for Connection

   • How: Couples will co-create simple, repeatable rituals (like end-of-day check-ins or intentional touch) that reinforce their commitment to staying emotionally and physically connected.