One does not simply say "NO"

How to set boundaries in an empathic way? Is there something like a recipe, or prescribed steps to follow when saying "no"? Of course, but there is a catch.

STEPS TO KINDLY PUSH BACK

1. Reflect back on the request.

Paraphrase what the other person is asking. Focus on the facts and acknowledge their feelings to show you understand their situation.

2. Communicate your boundary.

Clearly say that you cannot accept the request and briefly explain why. Keep it concise — your "why" is not for negotiation but to maintain transparency and connection.

*3. (Optional) Suggest alternatives.

If possible, offer a workaround or help brainstorm solutions to support them without overstepping your limits.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡

Knowing what to say is only half the battle, because it will hit the wall of inner conflicts. We might feel responsible, guilty, unsafe, afraid of being a bad person, even questioning if our needs are that important etc., to name a few themes that usually makes it so difficult to draw the line when needed.

When working with either teams or individuals, I believe it's vital to first raise awareness about what are their internal blockers, and then to try and design together a step-by-step plan that will support shifting their mindset. If this foundation is strong, the right words tend to come naturally.